How lucky we are!

This blog is sort of journal for me to write down what's been happening with my family but also to write down some of what I'm feeling. It's also great to be able to look back on one day.

There are good weeks and bad weeks in parenting for everyone. It really is one of the toughest jobs you'll ever do.  It's such an enormous responsibility and can sometimes be very overwhelming. To think that your raising these little people and shaping who they become. We all want our kids to grow up to be confident and happy. I know that we want this for our boys. They mean everything to us and there is nothing we wouldn't do for them.

Jack is 4 days old.

My weeks can be very up and down. Those that I'm close to know I suffer from terrible anxiety sometimes. A couple of weeks ago I had a great week with the kids. One of those weeks where everything just runs smoothly. Everything feels easier. I manage to stick with our routines, take the boys out, get them to have their sleeps, play, get the house work done, cooked dinner and it all feels alot more effortless. Then almost feels out of nowhere my anxiety returns. When I'm feeling anxious my whole body seems to get affected I feel sick, my body feels heavy, head foggy, I'm impatient and yell more then I like or care to admit.  I can feel like this for a few days, a week or sometimes a couple of weeks. When I'm like this everything is hard and the boys seem to pick up on my energy and they play up more which only heightens my anxiety. It's very hard to shake it off. Then it just lifts I'm not even sure what changes it. When I'm at my best it really is amazing to see the difference in the boys. I've really taken notice of it a few times now so I certainly believe they're picking up on my feelings and I guess it's also that I am probably more present with them during these times when I'm feeling good.


William is 4 days old.

 Not so long ago I read a book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. For at least a week after I felt sooo great not sure I've ever felt better. The reason being is because for that time I managed to stay out of my head or out of my thoughts. It's amazing how you can feel when you stop doing this. Not easy to do but when I read this book it' like I had a brief awakening. I've been trying to get back there since. Anyway that week I could not believe the difference in the boys. We virtually had no tantrums for over a week, they were being really loving and kind to each other. Out of nowhere Jack would say I love you Mum. I believe they could sense the difference in me and they were happy. Jack has always been a very sensitive soul. Having the two parents he does one of them had to be. Jack was only 18mths old when Will was born. When I came home after he was born I had the post baby blues pretty bad for a few days and could not stop crying. I remember Jack coming up to me and giving me a cuddle and saying it's ok Mum. I believe it's unusual for child this age to do this and show real compassion like that. He's always been this way with me if I'm upset he'd come into my room and say are you ok Mum do you want a cuddle, god bless him. I reckon he'll always look out for his Mum.

Lucas is 3 days old.

So as I said that week was amazing. The reason it had such an effect on the boys is because I was being completely present with them. I wasn't thinking about anything in the past that had happened or anything in the future that might happen or what I might have to get done etc I was just purely concentrating on what was happening in the moment. It's a huge weight off your shoulders when you live this way. If you haven't read any of his books I urge you to do so. I found it a real eye opener. I honestly had never thought of living other then through my thoughts and that that's who I was what I was thinking. Anyway you should read them.

Now these last two weeks I've really struggled with the kids. Sometimes it's very overwhelming having the three of them and  trying to do everything. I am very hard on myself and worry so much whether I'm doing a good job for them. Too much thinking. I know I'm a good Mum because I care enough to keep trying and I'd never stop because we've been blessed with three of the most beautiful little boys and they mean everything to me. When I imagined my children before we had them I couldn't have imagined three more perfect boys. I really should cherish the good and bad times because one day I'll miss all their mess, demanding and fights.

Although in saying I think I'm a good Mum I didn't feel like it yesterday. I had a lady ask me in Woolworth's what Lucas's middle name was and for the life of me I couldn't think of it. How terrible is that! I just had a complete mind blank. I then ran into her in the next isle and finally I'd remembered and had to tell her and said I'm feeling like such a bad mother not even remembering my sons name. She was so nice and said she could tell I was a good Mum because Lucas is such a happy baby. Fancy not remembering your sons name though!

This week we decided to try Will two days a week at family day care. He really enjoys going and on the 2nd day that Jack goes to preschool Will was kind of bored and kept asking to pick Jack up early. It means I have a bit more time to get things done and have a little bit of me time and some more time just with Lucas. I also felt for me it would be good to have that extra day.  One day just went so quickly and I spent it just getting the groceries done and a few other things. I really just need that break from them and I'm lucky we can afford to do it. The boys are both enjoying going and then I'm abit happier from having a bit of a break. Mind you I still have Lucas with me but at the age he is he's pretty easy. Today was my first day and I've really enjoyed having the day at home with Lucas and managed to catch up on some of my housework. I felt alot more patient with the boys tonight. I think this could work for me.  Ben joked why don't I just send them all off to boarding school and be done with it. Now there's a thought!

We have three amazing little boys!!

Leanne xx

Will turns 2!

It's taken me a while to get back to my blog since Will's 2nd Birthday as I've been feeling a little sick this week with a sore throat and very tired. When you have three little kids one must battle on so no rest for me. It's been a very full on week actually. I think the boys act up more when I'm not at my best as I'm sure they feed off my energy so it makes it that much harder when your feeling unwell. Some days I wonder how I get through the day. If myself or any of them are out of sorts it easily throws things into chaos and it's hard to get anything done. It's been that way for most of my week. I'm certainly looking forward to Wednesday and Thursday when Jack and Will go to daycare so I can have a little rest.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful Will!



Whose more excited!

Will had a nice birthday. On the actual day I took the boys for a nice morning to the park and then we had fish and chips by the water. It was quite windy and I ended up making a pig of myself and eating most of the fish and chips but the boys had fun chasing the seagulls. When I asked Will if he was having a nice birthday he said no so Jack then says well if Will says No then it is my birthday now. Unfortunately due to all the rain we didn't get to The Entrance as planned on the Sunday. We were going to take them there because they have a fair on in the park with jumping castles etc on long weekends. We ended up just at home and Aunty Kimmy and Uncle Brent coming up for lunch. The boys love having visitors so they were happy.  Poor Aunty Kimmy gets left at the sidelines when Brent is with her. She said she'll have to come alone next time to get some attention.

 

Since Will has turned two I'm sure the terrible twos started almost instantly. Although he has been building up to it abit of late but boy has this week been a challenge with him. The tantrums and the No's and just plain wanting his way. The constant fighting over everything between Jack and him is so terribly draining but I should get used to it because it's not going to change anytime soon. They have a million toys but ALWAYS want the same thing. Sometimes I handle these things well but this week I've had zero patience and end up yelling at the terrors boys.

Boys up to mischief!

A funny thing Will has been saying lately every time he puts on his shoes he'll say I'm a big man. Very cute! He's saying so much now. Even Nana noticed how much more he & Jack are saying since she was here only two weeks before. When I put Jack on the stairs for doing something he shouldn't Will will say sit on the stairs Jack. The other day I said Jesus Christ and the little parrot says Jesus Christ. Really need to watch what I say because now I have two copying.  He's VERY cheeky our little Will. He's also calling Jack Jacky which I love. They really grow so quickly.Will also has to carry four or more toys around with him everywhere. He sleeps with at least two teddies now and when he comes down in the morning he'll carry them both down. It's made putting him to bed easier because I'll just say teddies are ready for bed. His sleeping has still been OK although a couple of nights last week he came down but I just took him straight back up.

Jack is so fascinated with bums at the moment. Everything is look at his bum, you've got a bum and wants to take his pants off to show his bum. It's funny how they all go through this stage. We also picked up an audio tape from the library called bumageddon which is a funny story (probably doesn't help the whole obsessiveness with it) Nana put it on & it just went over Jack's head but Nana found it funny.



Our handsome spider man!

 Tried to get Jack to start pooing in the toilet. He refuses to and every time he needs to poo he asks for a nappy, which I've been doing as they say not to push them into it but it's been so long we started refusing him a nappy. So he would keep asking and say I just want to do a little poo just a little bit and that's it. We had a few accidents. Even a bribe of a new bike if he poos in the toilet isn't enough. Hopefully before he starts school we'll get there.




Jack had asked for a pair of gloves for a while. I got this set gloves, hat and scarf from Coles for $5. He looks so cute.

 In talking about things that Will has been copying last night Jack and Will were sitting at the kitchen table and jack was showing Will something. Nana and I were sitting at the dining table on our computers and next we hear Jack say F**cking tristi (don't know what tristi means). Diane and I just looked at each other thinking did we hear right. He then said it again just to confirm we did. I just ignore as that's what I've heard to do not to make a fuss of it. I really need to watch my own language as I'm only to blame can't blame the hubby he never swears although I think I have more to swear about having to deal with him and the kids.

They love our bed as most kids do!

Lucas our delightful little thing seems to be teething this week. The other day he just burst in to a massive cry and I've never heard him get so upset. Very hard to get panadol into him he just spits it all back out no matter how long it's been in his mouth it's like he's holding it in there till he gets the chance to spit it up again. Luckily he's still been sleeping OK. I've put on the amber beads which I'd brought for Will to wear but he didn't want to so trying them on Lucas. They're supposed to help with teething. They make the babies look abit hippyish which I think looks cute. Lucas is also starting to roll and  jabbering away abit more. I don't think it will take long for this little one to start crawling. He just wants to get up and go now to follow his brothers.

Our little hippy baby!

 In other news I think we've pretty much decided we will move back up to Brisbane near where we used to live. Being away has made us realise how good the area is up there. We don't regret the move as it's all an experience and it's good to try somewhere new. We wouldn't have got to do our great camping trip we did if we didn't sell our house and move. Brisbane is just so great for kids and there is lots to do up there. There isn't much to do in Newcastle. You have to drive to Sydney which is 2hrs away if you want to head out anywhere special like the Zoo or Museum or something. Newcastle doesn't have a lot really. It does have nice beaches.  We know we want to move into a house with a backyard for the boys and my sanity but rather then move into another place here we feel better to just make the move back up there and get settled into somewhere before next year when we enrol Jack for school for the following year.

This is Wellington Point Reserve down the road from where we used to live. What's not to miss!

The only down side is moving away from my family again but we are 2hrs away so it's still abit far anyway and I don't get to see them all as much as I would have liked. I may just see them more if I was up there again anyway because if they came up at least they'd stay for a couple of days instead of a quick visit. Not easy for me to go to Sydney either really at this stage. It's always so full on for me with the packing for the boys and then staying somewhere with the three of them. I know my family and Ben's will miss being able to see the boys when they like but I think for us Brisbane is a better place to raise our family.

Hope everyone has a great week.

Leanne xx